Decision-making is not my forte. Sure, when it comes to group leading I can be the bossy one and just make a decision (!) because no one else will. But in personal matters, I need decisive decision improvements.
I have McDonald's menu memorized yet it still takes me an abnormally long time to order.
If we're ever at a fast-food place together, you'll most likely hear me say, "You can go ahead of me. I'm not ready yet"--as if it's some life-altering choice I'm making.
I've been trying hard to be decisive--especially for my husband's sake. But I often find myself settling hard and fast, only to be met by differing opinions and other options, launching me into a tizzy. I try to explain to him that part of the reason I don't like to voice my opinion (particularly as it relates to restaurant choices) is because when I actually say, "I would like to go to ......" I have thought through every angle and all possible outcomes and am wearing my heart on my sleeve. Thus, if others involved in this decision choose something different, I am frustrated, irritated, or even offended. Lame, I know. But this is why I'd rather be non-committal. It's just easier sometimes.
In the past month I have had to make some seriously important decisions. You know, the kind that can be life-altering. Do I apply for that job? Do I want to work full time? How involved do I want to be in this ministry or that? When do I say "no"? Shouldn't I just suck it up, be a grown-up and work 40 hours a week like every other American? (gross generalization, I know. Sorry.) Do I want to teach piano? If so, will it be enough? Will I be enough? Should I take on that child care job? And where should we go for the holidays? (Yes, with the way our schedule fills up, it's best to start planning this stuff early. Besides, would you expect anything different of me?)
All that to say, I'm thankful for the many mornings I've poured all this out to my Lord and for his faithfulness to give me wisdom.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.James 1:5
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