As I rolled out bed this morning, with barely 3 hours sleep, I knew Jesus was calling to me. There was no other task that could take priority in this new year. There will always be meals to make, dishes to do, mouths to feed, laundry to wash, bathrooms to clean, naps to take, books to read. But Jesus was beckoning for my attention. He needed to help me refocus, receive grace, renew my spirit. And I am convinced that He started my first morning of the year two thousand eleven off in such a way as to set a precedence for every morning to follow.
I curled up on the couch, opened my Bible, and began to pray. Before long, I knew. My issue is discontentment. It's not so much that I'm unhappy with where I am, what I'm doing, and who I'm with. I'm fine with all of those things. No, the issue lies in my pursuit of the future. I am focusing my thoughts and endeavors almost completely on my hopes and dreams for the days yet to come. And when I found to the courage to face this painful truth, I realized the sin lies in refusing to give up those desires to my Lord--the only One who fully understands and will be faithful in ways I could neither ask or imagine.
Jesus is wanting me to release my old ways of doing life. He wants to change me--specifically to teach me the secret* to being content in all circumstances. I will focus on thoughts on Philippians 4:11, however difficult that may be. This message was drenching my spirit once again as I visited Rachel's recent post. Thank you, Jesus, for another affirmation of the lesson you long for me to learn. And thank for letting me know I am not alone in this.
*That is, I can do all things through him who gives me strength, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. [Philippians 4:12-13]
As I was seeking out the Scriptures for meditations to focus on my heart on contentment, I came upon an eloquent Proverb that must not be forgotten.
The fear of the Lord leads to life;
Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.
[Proverbs 19:23]This verse points to the deepest root of the issue--a fear of the Lord. In loving Him, I will long to obey Him and trust Him, thus living safely in His Grip.
So throughout this year, if you notice a spirit of discontentment in me, please, Friends, bring this verse back to my memory. I might not be super thrilled to be reminded, but I assure you--my thanks will come.
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Much of what you spoke of is ringing true in my heart as well - clinging to contentment amidst confusion and brokenness. Thank you for sharing your heart, Mel. I'm thinking we need to keep in touch more frequently - sounds like we're fighting similar battles.
ReplyDeleteI could write a very similar post...living too far in advance and missing the beauty and rest in the moment I'm in. Oh, the new challenge for 2011, to live in Jesus now and let Him take care of the rest of my days when they get here. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Betsy, thank you. We should email. :)
ReplyDeleteJanet, Amen! Happy New Year!