The One with the Bad Hair History

I'm going to share with you the things I've learned about doing my hair that I probably should have known years ago but I'm sharing them with you anyways because someone somewhere might appreciate knowing what I should have known years ago.*

*I've always wanted to rock the run-on sentence.

As a young girl I had many a bad hairstyle. 

I'm sure all of you would say the same thing (about yourself, that is.)

Unless of course, your hair has always been awesome. 

Mine hasn't and probably never will be.

My hair is super fine, 

but not thin. I have a LOT of hair.

Sometimes I wonder how I still have hair left, though, when I see what falls out post-shower.

I have zero oomf and body to my hair. 

It's a weird color that no one can seem to put a finger on.

Seriously, I ask around and no one knows.

Is it blonde? Brown? 

Dark blonde? Light Brown? 

"Dirty dish water blonde" is the most common description. 

Which is awesome.

Really. 

But aside from the color there's the natural wave of it. 

It's not curly. 

It's not straight. 

It's not even wavy, really. 

It's random, and it has a mind of it's own. 

I have a few cowlicks on the crown of my head. 

They're stinkers when I'm straightening. 

But if I were to let my hair dry naturally and go with it, it's not a pretty sight. 

Everything is every which way and frizzy to boot. 

I look like a 4 year old girl who just got out of bed. 

When I was younger, I thought my hair had to be perfect if it was in a pony tail of any kind. 

Slicked back and everything.

My mom can attest to this.

She tried to stop the madness, but I would have none of it. 

My hair looked awesome.

Moms are right. always.

So there I was 9, 10, 11, 12 (and maybe older)...using a squirt bottle of water and a fine toothed comb to make my pony tail perfect.

If it wasn't, I was starting again. 

Combine that with the really thick bangs 

(which happened to be permed in kindergarten! 

Ok, maybe moms aren't always right),

the cowlick in the bangs, 

the lack of definition in style ("Is it supposed to be straight or curly?")

and you've got yourself a winner.

I never owned a curling iron or a straightener until college. 

Sad day. 

I figured my hair didn't matter all that much.

How I was mistaken.

Exhibit A. Permed Bangs plus Bow plus the rest of my hair waving at will. 1st Grade.

Exhibit B. 5th? Grade. Crazy thick (wavy) bangs plus huge bow.

Exhibit C. 8th Grade. I try the 'no bangs' thing. I stick with my policy of "slicked back is best." And I still don't realize that the rest of my hair needs some guidance.

Exhibit D. 10th Grade. I try out the bangs again, only this time a little this thick. Still don't understand the concept of a straightener, but I seem to be getting over the watery-slicked back look. Add to that my new glasses and braces and I'm the coolest kid on campus.

I can't believe I just did that.

I put four of the worst pictures of me out for the world to see. 

Oh well, it's all about growth right? 

I've come to LOVE my hair. 

I love how soft it is. 

how shiny it is. 

how I can blow dry it and straighten it in 6.5 minutes. 

And I've even come to embrace the crazy wave thing of it (see below.)

Because after 24 years, I'm finally learning how to do my hair.
(And it probably doesn't hurt that I got over that whole puberty thing.)

Tune in next time to hear the ins and outs of simple hairstyling.