The One where We Let Go

Jesus has been working on my heart something fierce. 

I am no longer content. 

I am no longer content comfortably living out my version of the American Dream and planning for the 2.5 kids (figuratively speaking), white picket fence, soccer mom lifestyle. 

I am no longer content to focus on saving money to be financially secure in the future. 

I am no longer content to do youth ministry (and nothing else) and call it good. 

I am no longer content to sit in my beautiful home and do nothing besides spend my time making my life even more comfy and cozy. 

I have never felt so convicted. 

So moved to action. 

God is plucking me from my luxury and making me realize that so much of my life and my dreams for future have nothing NOTHING to do with eternity. 

And if my life today and my life 10 years from now is not functioning completely around the drive to make a different in the life after this one then there is no point to living. 

I was created FOR HIM. 

To do good works. 

To not merely listen to The Word and so deceive myself but to DO WHAT IT SAYS. 

To take care of widows and orphans in their distress. 

To give all I have to God (not just all I can give. all) 

To recognize my life for the vapor that it is, and to live my life in reckless abandon for Jesus. 

To not be ashamed of the Gospel. EVER. 

To view every stranger, every prisoner, every cashier, every driver, every beggar, every teenager as JESUS himself. 

And to take the very best care of those people as I possibly can--just as I would for Jesus. 

And Tuesday night, after praying and praying with my husband over all God has laid so heavily on our hearts, I decided not to delay. 

I couldn't put off the change another day. 

There are people in need. 

And we have so much. 

Now is the time. 

There is no reason (other than purely selfish plans and hopes and dreams) to wait. 

And so, with Kevin off to wrangle high schoolers, I worked all day.

Preparing.

Moving. 

Cleaning. 

Brainstorming. 

Reprogramming. 

The room we call our office, our living area, our favorite spot--that room is no longer ours. 

It's 100% God's.

As is this entire home.

But that specific room has been called for a purpose. 

To offer refuge for those widows and orphans in their distress. 

Or for any other purpose God would see fit. 

So what if my style gets cramped. 

What does it matter if I don't get as much sleep as before?

Or if I have to share my home with someone who does things differently?

Or if it's never "just us" again?

My life is not my own. I was bought at a price. Therefore, I am going to honor God. 

Desks have been rearranged. 

A computer is being sold. 

Our focus is shifting. 

From our happiness, our enjoyment, 

to GOD'S purpose. 

And it's big.

I can feel it.