Am I the only person who has trouble not writing everything she is thinking?
I would have no problem sharing these thoughts, feelings, musings, rantings, or circumstances.
But then I have to thing of the consequences to publicizing said ponderings.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to do that.
But people could be hurt.
Or confused.
Or get the wrong impression.
Interpret me wrong.
Or wish they had heard it from my face.
I don't even have a particular reason I'm writing this right now.
It's just something that occurred to me.
Between blogging and twittering I can't always share what's on my mind.
But then again, that's life.
And I should always think before I speak write.
I guess there are a few tiny reasons I'm thinking about what I can't publicize.
But those are really great things.
Surprises.
Or the "it must be the right time" things.
You know.
In any case, that's probably why I keep opening up a "New Post" and then not having anything to write about.
Because I have so much to write about.
But I can't.
Yet.
Or ever. Depending on the circumstance.
One thing I can tell is Kevin and I had a fabulous evening with friends last night.
We met Britt & Nick for a late evening dinner at Ruby Tuesday's.
It was in celebration of Britt's birthday...and a few days early for Nick's.
I was so thankful I could spend her special day (or evening at least) with her.
We had a great time.
And ate delicious food.
Sunday night was also a great time with friends.
One of our teens has a brother our age who came out to help with youth group.
After a wonderfully rousing game of ultimate frisbee, the two of them hung around for hour.
And we all talked and shared and laughed.
And I even managed to squeeze in a shower and a quick bathroom cleaning after saying "goodbye" only to realize they hadn't left.
Which was totally cool, though.
We had a great time with them.
It's nice connecting with people our age.
Speaking of which, Saturday night was another night of friends.
New friends.
They're cropping up left and right.
And I'm not taking friendships for granted anymore.
All through school you just assume you'll have friends.
Or at least peers your age.
But I can't say that anymore.
And it's been hard at times.
We have wonderful people surrounding us, but no one our age or in our stage of life.
And sometimes you need that, you know?
So Saturday evening I was going to go hang out with Amanda--one of my relatively-newly-formed small group girls.
We were just going to watch a movie and chill.
Plans went back and forth and were almost cancelled.
But at the last minute I called her up and Kevin and I both headed over.
Because her boyfriend Josh wanted to hang out with us too!
So Amanda, Kevin, and I made pizza and picked out a movie.
Which we never watched, because we enjoyed the conversation so much.
Marjorie--one of my other wonderful small group girls--came by too.
And she was asking Kevin all about how the two of us met and fell and love.
I didn't mind telling that story.
I never mind.
Josh arrived close to 9 and we all continued to talk the night away.
But before we knew, it was past my bedtime (yes, I'm still 5 years old) and we needed to get to bed.
Now, I know this many sound lame, but those three days in a row of hanging out with our friends was such a blessing.
We're finally past the point of selfishly guarding our evenings alone.
Yes, we both love to chill. Just the two of us.
And have time to do so before hitting the sack.
But relationships with others really are more important.
I am thankful.
Love your post. I've had those moments where I think...TO PUBLISH? OR NOT TO PUBLISH...THAT IS THE QUESTION!
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty as well.
Rachel
I like how you put that at the end: selfishly guarding our evenings alone. we still do that - but I desparately want friends!!!!! I love that you're soo close!
ReplyDeleteI agree spending time with others a good and healthy thing. Laughing at the bedtime. I have one too. When you have kids, you become a kid again. funny how that happens.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand lol that is why i have trouble blogging...there are SOOO MANY things to say!!! and some u just cant cuz of audience or interpretations...
ReplyDeleteI think being in ministry is a big part of that. Sometimes I feel self conscious because I know that people at church are always reading but they never comment. I always have to write with that in mind but yet there are times that I just want to write. I totally understand!
ReplyDeleteI love you friends titles :)
ReplyDelete