The One with the Bittersweet Announcement

[originally written April 30th, 2011 @ 7:30pm]

Tonight my heart is aching, anxious with anticipation. 

Twenty-four hours from now, our teens will have received the news that will likely devastate them--Kevin and Melanie are leaving. There is much more to the story than our departure from this town, this home, this church, but I know that is all these students are going to hear. I'm breaking at the thought of being the cause of their pain. Some of them may feel abandoned, forsaken, or rejected. Others may be overwhelmed with anger or filled with sadness. The rest may not know how to feel. 

And knowing the ache our decision will cause goes against my deepest instinct to remove pain. When someone is hurt, something is wrong. That's all there is to it in my black-and-white emotional reality. 

But God has spoken a different message into the depths of my being. Just as He commanded Abram, the Lord God has said to my husband and me, 

Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.

This portion of Genesis 12 is so poignant, overflowing with man's obedience and God's faithfulness. It must have been anything BUT comfortable to pick up and leave the only land he'd ever known, but Abram "left as the Lord had told him." 

We have little comprehension of the Almighty's plan in all of this. But we are doing our best to follow him. How can we teach our students to be eager followers of Christ if we ourselves are unwilling to GO? How can we sing the words of Starfield's song "I Will Go" alongside them and sit here in comfortable disobedience? Is it possible to read the words of Isaiah the prophet when he himself answered the call and not be convicted to do the same? 

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here I am. Send me!" 

This transition will not be easy. In fact it may be painful. But Jesus did not call us to a life of ease. He called us to follow Him. And THAT is what we're doing. 

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My outstanding husband, who becomes more and more faithful to the voice of Christ each day, has been called by God into full time ministry. We have been leading the youth group here at MFMC since September 2008, and we shared with the world Kevin's call to ministry back in November 2009. But since then, there has been more leading and a beckoning to go a step further. 

Seminary. 

Beginning this August, Kevin will be starting the 4 year Master of Divinity degree at Northeastern Seminary. He is intensely passionate about furthering his knowledge of Scripture and of the doctrines of the Christian faith. He wants to learn Greek and Hebrew and experience the interpretation of the Holy Text. He desires to know Irenaeus and Augustine and Jerome--the fathers of our faith (patristics).   

I am eager to learn alongside him, discuss with him, challenge him, grow with him, support him. And while we are there, we will pursue a lifestyle of ministry--for without an eternal purpose, what are we? 

We are excited for the journey ahead. 

And brokenhearted to leave all of this behind. Our friends. This home. My glorious kitchen. A church family. Librarians who know our names.
The 25plus teenagers who have wedged their way so deeply into our hearts that they will forever be a part of us. 

O, God, grant us mercy.

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