...And for the next 12 months, the lab requisitions stayed at the bottom of our metaphorical pile. We were in a new state, trying to make new friends, living with no health insurance. As upset as I was that we weren't conceiving, beginning the hunt for a good doctor, then paying for tests and treatments, and dealing with medical expenses and painful rigmarole just didn't seem feasible. In fact, it seemed insurmountable.
Some friends couldn't understand how we were putting off this decision. Why wait to get some simple lab work done? What if it's a simple fix? I could totally understand their questions. I had similar thoughts floating around my brain.
It was becoming clear that for as much as I wanted to start our family, or even just to know if it was going to be possible, we were becoming more and more content with how thing were. Just us. No strings attached. And I think there is a fear that still lingers--fear of the unknown, how things will change, what will be given up. Answers we can't know until that precious moment is granted us.
But soon I realized I needed to have my yearly gyn appointment, at the very least. I did some asking around for names of doctors and finally settled on an office. I made my appointment, not knowing if I had made the right choice in a physician or not. When I left the exam room that day, I said, "That was the BEST doctor's appointment I have ever had." The exam only took 10 minutes, but she sat down and talked to me for at least 45 minutes more, finding out our story and talking about possible fertility solutions. She gave me laboratory requisitions--one for me, one for Kevin--with instructions on which hospitals to call. Additionally, she wrote a request for an HSG Fluoroscopy, a pricey procedure that was optional but would give us great insights into the workings of my organs.
In true Kevin-and-Mel form, we put these procedures off, but only for a month this time. Both of us got our lab work done--with no questionable results to concern us. Yay! We knew we couldn't afford to get the fluoroscopy procedure done at this point, so we were blessed beyond belief when a loved one offered to pay for the $800 x-ray. After a 15 minute procedure that was much quicker and MUCH MORE painful than I had anticipated, we already had our answers--my insides looked A-ok.
Our wonderful doctor called me the next week to follow up on the exam results and, in doing so, ended up saving us the $100 office visit fee. Another gift! She said there were no issues with any of our tests so to give it two more months and come back for a follow-up if we hadn't yet conceived.
Which brings us to the present.
Subscribe.
Yes, "minor discomfort" and "slight cramping" are two phrases that I quickly learned were euphemisms for "this is going to hurt."
ReplyDeleteholy cow, yes, Sara. When they threw around the word "dilation" I was thinking, "Wait WHAT?!" And I would describe the pain as the worst cramps of my life that lasted 45 minutes longer than the worst cramps of my life.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Mel AND Kevin. Praying for peace and patience on your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou are brave and beautiful. I know God is going to use your story and your vulnerability for His glory. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI will not pretend to have a clue where this journey will ultimately take you. I have, however, no trouble at all saying that you and Kevin will be the best parents any child (conceived or otherwise received) could ever ask for. I would dare say that there are many youth in your past and your present that have gained more from your ministry than some will ever learn at home. You are both blessed, and a blessing. Prayers that God will soon show you his plan.
ReplyDeleteLove you all!
ReplyDeleteAnd Marlene, wow, what a tremendous blessing your words are to both of us. I will treasure them.
You're kind of a stinker to leave us hanging at the end of every post, you know. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to get the testing done and at least know that some possibilities were eliminated. I'll wait...ok, patiently...for your next post. You are very brave to share so openly about such a painful journey.
PS-Tell Kevin that Mark H. was so fast quiz-mastering yesterday that he was in the stats office talking to us, just killing time, waiting to do individual prelims. (I didn't realize he was doing prelims and I thought he was hanging out waiting for lunch to be served and it made me think of Kevin.)
I miss you guys every month at quiz!
Miss you & your girls, too, Karen. Thanks for keeping up on our lives even from far away. :)
ReplyDelete