The One with the New Favorite Book

You know that feeling you get when you're turning page after page of a fantastic book? It's thrilling, gripping, consuming. You just want to finish it, to find out what happens in the end? But then, as soon as you read the last word on the last page there's a pit of sadness in your stomach. You wish the story would just go on and on. You don't want to find another "good book" because you just finished reading the best story of all time. 

That's how I've felt every since Wednesday morning, right after I finished the last 20 pages in Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I flew through this book. I just couldn't put it down. (And that's not normally the case with me and books. I love a good book, but it's rare that I'm totally caught up in the story I'm reading.) Last Friday, my husband and I went to our little local library. 

(Side note: can we just say how much we miss our awesome library system in Michigan and our branch of the library where the librarians knew our names, had our books ready, loved talking with us, and were genuinely sad to see us leave. It was a really big library too, and they knew us and liked us. We weren't an annoyance to them, but their faces seemed to light up every time we walked in the door. I miss that. |end rant| )  

On a whim I decided to check out this familiar title to see if I would I would enjoy it. I had heard the basic premise of the story (Hosea's saga), and I'd thoroughly enjoyed 2 other books by Francine Rivers And the Shofar Blew and The Scarlet Thread. Shhhhuuure. Why not?! I needed another book to read anyways. 

The preface to this novel was absolutely heartbreaking gut-wrenching. I didn't know how I could go on reading. But something kept me going, calling me in deeper and deeper into the lives of Angel and Michael. And before I knew it, I was closing the book for the last time, having been moved so deeply by these characters and their close connection with the biblical story of Hosea.

I don't want to say much about the story. I would give it all away. But I encourage every woman to read this book. It is soul-stirring--a beautiful picture of redemption and restoration, depicting the way our God seeks us out in all our wretchedness and loves us without condition.  

I pray your heart will be moved as mine was. 

The One with "Mastering" a Great Day

What a fantastic day! It was just one of those all-too-rare days when my mood was good and my spirits were high for every moment of it. Even the getting-up-at-6am-on-a-Saturday didn't deter me (despite the struggle to fall asleep the night before). 

Besides the great mood, it was the first Bible Quiz of new school year--over Hebrews and I&II Peter. Rich books, I tell ya, but crazy difficult to memorize. These quote verses are killing me! (I like to memorize the 40 quotes along with the quizzers--to set an example and to continue hiding God's Word in my heart.) In any case, it was also mine and Kevin's maiden voyage into Western New York's quizzing conference--transported all the way from Southern Michigan. Some of the quizzers think we're here as undercover spies to report back to our Michigan directions. :)

You may remember my epic saga of becoming a quizmaster at this past summer's Quiz Nationals? Well, that transformed me into a regular conference quiz master in our new region! Kevin and I were both placed in 2 of the 4 top division rooms of today's quiz--which was super cool! I was a teensy bit nervous with my new responsibility, but I quickly found my groove.

quizmastering in action at Nationals 2011

Kevin @ Nationals

For the rest of the day I just couldn't help but think to myself, "I LOVE quizmastering!" And I really do! I don't know if that makes me a nerd (ok, it probably definitely does), but I'm fine with that. I love the moment by moment unpredictability combined with the repetitive cadence of each round. (Is that redundant? "repetitive cadence"?) I love that Kevin is 2 rooms down, asking the same questions, dealing with totally different issues, and gathering a unique set of stories to share with me at lunch and at the end of the quiz. I love seeing every different quizzer and coach throughout the day, getting to know them and having them welcome me into their "quiz family." And, I have to admit, I kinda love being in charge of the quiz room. It's that first born in me, soaring to new heights...errrr....soaring to that place of familiarity--leading, bossing--but with much more class and respectfulness than my 5 year old self. 

See, mom & dad? My bossy tendencies have been channeled into the right arenas and are now being properly put to good use! 

Besides having a blast quiz mastering, I ate the most delicious Subway sub, had hilarious conversation with Kevin and Eric (our new, but feels-like-we've-known-him-forever friend), shopping at Sam's Club with Kevin, drinking way too much Diet Coke & eating fan-friggin-tastic samples at said Club, purchasing Silk soy milk in pursuit of dealing with a potential lactose intolerance, finding my newly designed Piano Studio business cards sent from VistaPrint (and loving them!!!), and receiving a brand new copy of Angie Smith's book What Women Fear thanks to my friends at (in)courage. 

SEE?! What did I tell you?! A GREAT day! 

How was your Saturday? 

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The One with the End of HP

Oh my goodness gracious. 

I literally just finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows--book 7 of 7 in the HP series. It was my first time. Yes, I know the books were all the rage when I was in high school. They became a part of some teacher's reading curriculum in fact. But I was against it. Partly because of the witch-craft. But mostly because I don't like to go along with the trends. I want to do something or read something or wear something or watch something on my time and not because everyone else is doing it. Me and vogue--we're not very tight. 

But these books are AMAZING. Brilliant! Fun! Riveting. Intense. Emotional. And in the end, crazy fast-paced.  I had read books 1 through 4 in the months before our move. I started in April and took my time getting through them. They were good, but I had to be in the mood to read them. 

I was a few chapters into book 5 when the packing and moving process rolled around. That meant, no more enjoyment reading for Mel. I had things to do, boxes to pack, deadlines to meet. 

But a few weeks after moving, I felt completely settled in my new home, and I visited my friend, Harry Potter once again. It took a little while to get back into it. But during VBS week (August 15-19), I became quite attached to my book. I whizzed through this 800+ page book in a few days time. I started book 6 on Sunday the 21st and a few days later was finished. 

Having read so much for so many days, I was kind over stimulated. So I started reading book 7 at a more leisurely pace. But who knew they would DIVE head first into the intensity of the plot?! Right from the get-go of this 750+ page book, there was intensity and drama. This book is the definition of a page turner. The action just doesn't stop. You wait for calm, leisurely chapters like those that filled the other six books, but reprieve never comes. 

And it's SO GOOD. In the last 2 days I've read over four hundred pages. (I know Kevin could read the entire epic novel in just a few hours, but this was quite a feat for me.) I loved every minute of this book--especially the second half. And can I just say, I am so happy an epilogue was included. I appreciate closure. 

All I can say is, "Well done, J.K. Rowling, well done!" 

Now, to the movies! 

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Have you read Harry Potter? Are you a fan? 

If you've never given these books a chance, I say you need to!

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The One with the Book Worm

Today I...

...started book seven of Harry Potter after finishing half of five and all of six in the last week. This is an impressive record for me. Can't. Stop. Reading.

...didn't have time for a full blown, well-thought-out blog post because of my intense reading regimen. So you're getting this list. 

...was disappointed that the "Farmer's Market Downtown" signs seem to have been misleading. 

...met our neighbors, Eddie and Carol. At least I think her name is Carol. Darn it. They remind me a lot of Tom and Donna, our lovely neighbors for years and years during my growing up years.


...almost burnt my perfect granola because I absentmindedly turned the oven to 325 instead of 250. eeep!

...got all dressed up for a date to Ruby Tuesday with my husband. Someone anonymously left us a generous gift in Kevin's pen cup (who knows how long ago) with a typed note saying "Take yourselves out to a nice dinner. You deserve it." Well thank you very much, friend!

...painted my toenails bright pink. 

...managed to resist the adorable stray kitten's cries on my back porch. Even after she ran up to greet us (probably smelling our leftovers.) We are calling her Sphinx. 

...reminded all of you to go enter my Digital Scrapbook Giveaway!!

...received tons of helpful job advice (and had some fun conversation besides) from my wonderful father-in-law. 

(source)

The One with $20.25

It's official!! Garage Sale Season in underway! I suppose you could say--"Melanie is to garage sales as hunters are to deer season." In other words, it's a BIG deal and if you're not a garage sale fan, you think I'm crazy. I'm totally ok with that. 

It was only 48 degrees this morning, but the rain had stopped. I double checked the sale listings I had found in the local newspaper's online classifieds as well as the garage sale section of Craigslist. I then printed off the list of items I was looking for in this season of thrifting. (I've discovered having a "plan" is a very good thing.) Finally, I donned a coat--yes a COAT--for the occasion and hit the road. 

At the first sale, I came away with two beautiful satin blouses and a sweater for $1.50. They all fit me perfectly--I'm thrilled. I was a teensy bit quite frustrated, though, when Kevin noticed a huge water-looking stain on the front of the green satin. Ack! I have it pretreated right now! 

The woman hosting the second sale was a piece of work. She was a talk, talk, talker and quite pushy--not my favorite type of yard sale host, I've got to be honest. Despite that, I found a hardly-worn pair of size 10 Chuck Taylor Converse high tops for Kevin. I offered the lady $1.00 and she took it! (They sell for $65.00!!) Kevin's already wearing them. :)

At the last sale, I saw quite a few great finds--but most of them weren't on my list. *kept my arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times* I came across a sewing machine--which IS on my list--but one crucial piece of it was missing. Not so much...

I DID find a few great items before leaving, though. We now have a beautiful cloth shower curtain. It's in perfect shape and Kevin likes it as well. I was just thinking last night that this brown-brown-brown theme was getting boring. We needed to mix it up a bit. The new curtain goes well with the brown and green we already have. For $2.00 it's a perfect bathroom makeover!  

Finally, I came across the hardcover copies of most of the Harry Potter Series! Books 2 and 4 are missing and book 3 doesn't have a jacket, but I got five of them for $15 which is totally worth it for Kevin and I. I normally don't spend more than $0.50 on a book, but seeing how this exact set was on our wish list and would have cost close to $100, we took it! 

Are you hitting the garage sale path any time soon?? Good finds yet?

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The One with the Sweet Dreams

I finishing reading Mine Is the Night by Liz Curtis Higgs during our family camping trip in Kentucky. I'm not one to say, "I just can't put this book down!" but I could whole-heartedly say that about this novel. I turned page after page on the 8 hour trip south and only dozed off twice--a record for me! The story was so gripping, though even my cat naps were filled with dreams of the characters' stories. I was thoroughly engrossed in their drama. 

Despite the fact that this novel was the second in the series (following Here Burns a Candle), I didn't have any problem following the story. Higgs writes beautifully and thoroughly, leaving no reader behind. 

This is a story of redemption, of faith, of salvation, of family. Elizabeth Kerr and her mother-in-law, Marjory, are forced to leave their affluent lifestyle after being widowed by their politically rebellious husbands. Trials await them around every corner, but in the end Christ redeems them and brings overwhelming blessing into their lives.  

I would encourage you to pick up a copy of this historical fiction entitled Mine Is the Night very soon! You'll love it, I promise! 

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The One with Your Study Tips

I need your help. I am planning on starting a women's small group for a few ladies in our church, and I'd love to find an awesome curriculum to use. My mom has done many Beth Moore studies in the past and always raves about them, so if you have a particular Moore book to recommend, please share! 

The group will likely consist of a perfect mix of 20somethings and 30 or 40somethings. Some of the members have a good grasp of Scripture, but others are hungry to learn as they have just recently turned their lives over to Christ's Lordship. I'm so excited to be a part of helping and teaching them what I've learned and experienced about God, and I look forward to learning from their wisdom and maturity in life. 

Please share your recommendations for Bible studies. 

Any tips would be welcomed--especially those geared towards women and new believers. 

Thanks, friends!

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The One with the Library Lovers

My husband and I are well aware of the fact we are dorks. And you know what, we totally embrace that. We love reading, learning, sitting in peace and quiet. Sunday afternoon we proved our dork status once again. 

The local library we frequent closed down last Spring for building renovations. We were still able to get our book fix and our free dvd rentals at the nearby pick up/drop off location, but we were missing the experience of browsing books, finding a quiet corner to read, exploring the fairly decent movie collection. 

During the months that the library functioned out of a one-room office, we got to know a couple of the librarians really well. Two of the ladies became really lovely friends of ours. They loved seeing us walk in. They greeted us by name, asked about our lives (and really seemed to care), laughed with us, and would oftentimes be halfway through checking out our holds before we even walked in the front door. It was totally awesome. 

One afternoon visit was particularly impressive. As we rounded the corner of the office door, we heard them mention our last name. They were talking about us not knowing we were walking in the door! Luckily it wasn't anything negative. :) They were planning on who they wanted to send invitations to for the Grand Re-Opening of the library and we made their list. So sweet!

Sunday afternoon was the big day. We hopped in the car, loaded up my lap with books (2 of mine, 7 of Kevin's) and headed to our favorite place. Our two wonderful librarian friends were (not even kidding) thrilled to see us! One of them ran over to us from her station saying, "You guys made it! Oh, I'm SO happy!" And she proceeded to give me a hug. It was awesome. 

We spent the next few minutes "oooooh-ing" and "ahhhhhh-ing" over the classiness of the remodel and being impressed with the new system. Kevin checked out 4 more books that were on hold for him, I enjoyed two little cups of those butter-pillow-mint-things and we bid fair well. Don't worry, friends, we'll be back again soon!  

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The One with the Miracle of Mercy Land

It's hard to know where to begin when it comes to River Jordan's novel, The Miracle of Mercy Land. There is so much emotion, so much suspense, so much frustration, so much beauty, so much triumph.  

This book tells the story of the young woman named Mercy Land who was born and raised on the back rivers of Bittersweet Creek under the faith and wisdom of her Mama and Daddy and her Aunt Ida Mae. Throughout the story, she continually recognizes the impact those individuals have had on her life--on making her who she has become. Mercy has a beauty and softness accompanied by a strength and fierceness that are unrivaled, and she uses her unique mix of character qualities to alter the path of her life. 

 She is committed to her work at The Banner, the Bay City paper, and will go to any lengths to present a full, honest story. Mercy is also influenced by Doc Phillips, editor-in-chief of the newspaper. This old sage and mentor of Miss Land, comes in contact with a book that has the potential for changing his life--and the lives of everyone he's ever met. He and Mercy face impossible decisions, all while fighting the overwhelming pull of the mysterious book. 

Throughout this gripping story of love, of commitment, of heartbreak and restoration, the reader joins Mercy and Doc as they play with destiny in a very real way. 

I highly recommend this novel! Special thanks to WaterBrook Publishing for providing me with this book for reviewing. 

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The One with in Face of Life (and Death)

What am I striving for? Why do I rush into the day, so eager to jump into the predictable routine? 

Exercise. Breakfast. Shower. Tea and email. To Do Lists. Groceries. Meal Planning. Sitting. Talking. Cleaning. Sleeping. 

And why do I run from hardship, pain? From the illnesses, the loss, the arguments, the cancer? These are the evidences of my humanity--that my life is but a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Why do I feel the need to accomplish A, B, and C before death takes me? Why do we pray for more years? To do what? Clean more toilets? Wipe more runny noses? Do more laundry? Work longer hours? Sit in front of the tv? 

What is it that God is calling me to? I am not asking for a glimpse into His plan for my life, but seeking the way in which He is calling me to live my days? Even if tasks are hard or monotonous, painful or exciting--HOW shall I live?

In the first chapter of One Thousand Gifts, Ann walks into the face of her pain, her questions, her anger, her doubt, her sin. And she's dared me to do the same.

But don't worry. Hope is coming. It's in the thanksgiving. (chapter 2).

The challenge of our humanness is to be satisfied with God, and what he gives. How often are we content with what He has placed in our lives? Honestly? Almost never. We are the daughters of Eve through and through as we reject the spirit of thankfulness and beg for that one other piece of fruit.

But, friends, in the midst of the loss, we are being beckoned to acknowledge the ONE who is in control. We should not seek lives free of suffering, free of challenge, free of frustration.

Because only in the darkness can you recognize the Light and truly appreciate its gift and its presence.

When difficulties confront us, we are given the choice to live in resentment or in gratitude. Oh, Melanie. What will you choose? Right now?

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reading One Thousand Gifts as a part of Bloom: (in)courage book club.

The One with Books and THE Book

Bible Quizzing is awesome.
Our quizzers totally rocked my socks off tonight.
It was a solid practice.
With kids actually studying together.
And many of them showing the fruits of their memorizing labor from this summer.
I'm so *proud.*

And it has to help that we've gone from 3 quizzers last season to 8-11 this year!
(I leave that range because we're sure numbers will change after the first month.)
Having more student committed and challenging each other is great peer pressure. :)

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I finished my fourth Karen Kingsbury series since this Spring.
I've completed Redemption (5 books), Fame (4 books), Sunrise (4 books), and now Above the Line (4 books).
They are all fabulous.
I'm going to miss the Baxters and the Flanigans and all the characters in between.
Karen is amazing at writing you into the stories.
I'm certain I know Bailey and Cody, Landon and Ashley, Kari and Dayne.
Yes, I realize that it's a fantasy world.
But all the same, those characters become alive.
Their stories resonate with mine.
And THAT is why Karen Kingsbury is an amazing author.

The One with What She's Learned This Summer

::It's okay to say "no." In fact, it's even healthy. I don't have to do everything in order to know I'm loved, appreciated, or valued.

::It's okay to admit when I'm tired and weary and need a break. Who knew I just couldn't do it all?

::Carving quality husband-wife time into my day is so important to our relationship. 

::Quality does not necessarily mean quantity. 

::Though, for me, quantity time is pretty high on my love language list. 

::Taking special notice of the extra efforts my husband makes to show me how much he loves me even when our schedules are busy equals a contented wife who is confident of her husband's love. (Rather than brushing past those little random love acts and demanding more.)  

::I really love our teens. I miss them when I'm only around them one night a week as opposed to the normal 3 or 4. 

::I have been increasingly convinced that we have followed God's call into this full time ministry.

::God provides. Always. 

::I can run 6 miles. No problem. I might just shoot for the half marathon. 

::Having to wander to the bathhouse in the middle the night is not my idea of a good time. Heck, I don't like walking down my carpeted hall at home let alone down a campground road. 

::I'm not 19 anymore.  Though I may look it, my life's stage is already far removed from the college life.

::I get annoyed and frustrated too easily.

::I really miss my bed. and my shower. and my back porch. and my kitchen. and...

::Living in an 18 foot camper for 3 months proves how few possessions life really requires. 

::Reading is an amazing use of time. Now if only I can keep my eyes from shutting so quickly.    

::Spending some serious (as in intimately intense) time with God each morning equals amazing results. I have been learning what it means to "be joyful always." 

The One with the "World's Largest Rummage Sale"

You may remember my love of garage sales. 

Rummage sales. 

Yard sales. 

Consignment shops. 

Anything second hand?

I'm all about it. 

Well, the largest church in our conference hosts the world's most gigantic rummage sale every July. 

I've looked forward to it every since I had my first taste of it's amazingness in 2005. 

This is a garage sale guru's heaven. 

Prices are super low. 

Inventory is categorized, mapped out, and sorted beautifully. 

And get this--

all of the proceeds go directly to world missions!

So you can't even feel guilty about spending money because it's going to one of the most noble causes. 

All the way back in May, I had requested off Thursday, July 29th. 

I needed the day, people.

This sale is not for the faint of heart. 

I arrived a few minutes before the doors opened at 9am, 

and the parking lot was already filled to capacity. 

With the rush of shoppers, I headed into the book room. 

The book lover's gold mine. 

All books were 75 cents and after about a half hour, I had a box full of 17 books totaling $12.75--the cost of one inexpensive book at retail cost. 

I found another copy of Tolkein's The Silmarillion and The Hobbit. 

(I was really really hoping for the Lord of the Rings trilogy as ours in literally broken apart at the binding.)

C.S. Lewis' Perelandra.

A Grief Observed. 

and Screwtape Letters.

Karen Kingsbury's Like Dandelion Dust

(which, I hear, is being made into a movie.)

I overheard someone asking about her books and the lady said, "I know there's one over here."

And I said, "I think I have it!" 

*sly grin*

I picked up two Bibles--one a devotional Bible for couples and one with notes by Max Lucado. 

(Bibles for $0.75?! I mean, really?)

I found a couple of Bronte classics, 

and a collection of the Browning Poetry.

(Kevin doesn't know Elizabeth Barret or Robert Browning.

What in the?!)

Today, I went back for more. 

Mostly because I knew more books and merchandise would have surfaced and prices would be even lower. 

Sure enough books were just a quarter today! 

I found 7 more!

Devotionals by Billy Graham and Corrie Ten Boom. 

The Swiss Family Robinson. 

(I loved that movie as a kid!)

Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis 

(Heard it was great. No idea what it's about. 

But I really love Bell's stuff.)

More success. Excellent. 

I also managed to procure about 4 sweaters, some blouses, a jean jacket, a fall trench coat, and a pair of black slacks for me; 

a dress shirt and 4 awesome ties plus 2 great polos for Kevin;

AND four pairs of amazing shoes (nearly new, perfect fit, irresistibly adorable) and 4 purses/bags (once again: nearly new, perfect fit, irresistibly adorable).

I kind of have a purse fetish. 

But I figure it's not a terrible thing when I get them all for under a dollar. 

And realizing I can buy 30 purses for the cost of one in the department stores?

I'll take it! 

I finally own an apron!  

It's red--perfect match for Stan the KitchenAid MixerWilton Angled Spatula 8". 

I snagged an offset (frosting) spatula--Wilton Brand, 

a couple beautiful tumbler glasses*, 

and a mug and a couple random miscellaneous items for my husband who loves random miscellaneous items.

*By the way, we've decided to become those people with the awesome mismatched collection of glassware.
I mean, what fun is having all of the same glasses.
"They" say you can mix and match your table settings.
So I say that goes for glasses.
And besides, my husband has some crazy obsession with cool glasses.
Really.
Every time we're anywhere and he sees a new drinking glass, he wants it.
It's hilarious and awesome at the same time. 

When I went back for me this morning, I detoured at a friend's yard sale. 

She had some fantastic clothing items--but after seeing the church's really super cheap prices, hers seemed steep. 

I did manage to get a brand new Spring Arbor sweatshirt and three cute tops for $7. 

I'll call that a win. 

Especially after I spent $1.75 on 7 books. 

I love rummage sales, did you know that? 

The One that's Out of Control

Have you read Crazy Love?

The book Francis Chan wrote to beat us over the heads with the fact that we should be overwhelmed by a relentless GOD. 

I read for the first time around Christmas and thought it was excellent. 

Now, months later, our church is gearing up to start a small group study centered around Crazy Love. 

I'm really excited about the possibilities of the changes God could do in the hearts of our people through this book. 

Kevin and I are going to be leading a young adults group, 

and possibly taking our teens through it as well. 

To prepare, I've decided to read the book over again. 

Luckily this is the type of book that needs to be read. 

Repeatedly. 

As I got to the second chapter, the concepts starting hitting home. 

A little too close to home. 

Know what I mean?

"Justified Stress" was the title of the section. 

Oh, great. 

Just what I need to hear. 

How terrible it is to be stressed and 99 ways to combat it. 

Turns out, Chan's words were exactly what I needed to hear.

Sure, it was a little (or rather large) kick in the pants. 

But it was necessary. 

I've been so overwhelmed lately. 

So stressed. 

Feeling so out of control.

Worry worry worry. 

Chan's definitions of worry and stress are shockingly accurate. 

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. 

Stress says taht the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others (who, me?!), or our tight grip of control.

I have known that worry is a sin. 

In fact, it has always been my biggest area of sin. 

"Do not worry about life"--yeah right. 

That was one command I didn't foresee myself being able to obey. 

But what I hadn't considered before was the devastating, embarrassing truth that worry isn't the only sin I'm committing. 

I am being totally and completely selfish. 

As if, by some twist in the rules, I have "the right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities." 

And not just that, but worry is an outright proclamation that I have forgotten about God. 

Yes. 

You read that right.

Forgotten about GOD.

Who do think I am? 

Thinking "it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff (it's just stuff) in my life is somehow exceptional. 

Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. 

They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed."(p42)

So, Mel, why don't you just get over yourself and step aside. 

Allow God his rightful place in your life. 

In control. 

Yes, Melanie, that's right. 

You don't need to be in control.

*shiver*

It will be okay.

In fact, life will probably be even better than your wildest dreams if you stop trying to make your own measly plans succeed. 

God wants to use you to bring him glory.

And that can only be done under His direction--

thus ensuring, the outcome will be magnificent. 

Mel, the point of your life is bring Him glory--

whatever it is you are doing. 

Making dinner for your husband, 

texting your awesome teenagers, 

cleaning bathrooms, 

teaching piano, 

or even reading a book. 

"The point of your life is to point to Him."

So, in case you forgot the whole point--

get over yourself.

Realize that, standing before the throne of God, the only thing that will matter is who I am in Christ and how I lived for Him--

hopefully, with reckless abandon to fulfill every ounce of His will for my life no matter how unknown or how worrisome the path.