Teens. Roses with a Few Thorns.

Youth ministry is often challenging. Many times frustrating. Frequently disheartening. But deeply rewarding. Seeing a student's heart open up like a timid flower is so beautiful. Knowing that it is only through Jesus that I love, accept, admonish, affirm, and even discipline. Teens sense that. 

They start trusting little by little. They start to enjoy your company; they smile when they see you in the crowd. But then they text you to talk about tough stuff. They sit in your living room and cry. They confess, they mourn, and they receive love and acceptance like a dried up sponge. 

Sometimes they take the advice, lovingly and firmly offered. And lives are changed. 

And sometimes they bring you flowers just to say thank you. 

And suddenly I am the one receiving love and affirmation so desperately needed. 

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My Multitude of Children

Seeing as how it's Mother's Day, I thought I would share some pictures of the children God has blessed me with over the past 5 years. Though I may not yet (or ever) have biological children of my own, my life is rich, filled with dozens of kids who become an integral part of my heart's beating. I love each of these fiercely, with a passion and protectiveness that mirrors a mother's. And from their own lips these beautiful children reciprocate this relationship with me as they tell me how much they love me or when they ask me to fill in as their mom in a classroom activity or by writing me Mother's Day cards.

Last year was a darker, more painful encounter with Mother's Day, being reminded of what I don't have, but today I am grateful to be relying more closely on the fullness of Jesus and recognizing the multitude of blessings He has poured out on me.

These sweet girls are somehow like daughters and sisters to me.

My three T kids, who I mothered for two weeks in March

My Maddie on her birthday

My Kate, Viv, Olivia, Riley

My massive family with whom I spent those 3 beautiful years with in Michigan

A return Michigan visit with those Crazy Kids.

For two years, I have spent my Thursday Morning with these lovelies
(babysitting at Morning Moms.)

My Michigan Heartbeat

My precious Jillian

My sweet Amelia baby, born the day we moved to NY, we have a beautiful bond.

My Tess, Calandra, Arella and Catherine. Such sweet spirits. 

My Tilly, Hailey, Riley, and KayKay. Love them in my life. 

And to the mothers of all of these beautiful children of mine, thank you so much for sharing their lives with me. I am sure it's not easy to allow another woman to pour into your baby's life and become deeply connected with them. But you let me in, you encourage me along the way, and I feel so loved and appreciated by each of you. 

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Lest I not to mention how thankful I am for the two moms I have, I am reflecting on the truth of the words I  wrote three years ago. Read here.

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Thursday Girls

Kirsten, Martha, Laurel, Marella, Melanie

Thursday from 7:30-9:00pm is one of my favorite times of the week. I mentioned it along with a whole slew of weekly youth encounters a while back, but after the four fantastic hours I spent with these girls tonight, I just had to elaborate.

Back in September I felt I needed to make a conscious effort to spend more focused time with the high school girls. I sent out a letter to each of them - at least 20 - and invited them to my house on Thursday. This would be a sort of "small group" but without any particulars. We weren't going to have an "agenda" per se, but just follow the conversation wherever God would lead. (Conversation amongst high school girls is certainly not hard to come by, after all.)

That first Thursday, my girl Kirsten showed up. And for the next few weeks it was just the two of us. Kirsten, a 12th grader, is one of the quieter girls in the youth group so I was thankful to have this time to share hearts without distraction. I believe it is largely due to those evenings we spent together that we have grown into really close friends. I am going to be geniunely broken-hearted to send her off to college in the fall.

Kevin snagged this impromptu picture of Kirsten and I at Dare2Share

At that point in our Thursday girls group, Olivia and Marella started showing up. This added a really great dynamic to what Kirsten and I had going on, and the four of us decided to read through the book Head-to-Soul Makeover: Helping Teen Girls Become Real in a Fake World This proved to provide an excellent environment to be honest, even raw, with our struggles and to encourage one another to make real changes in our lives to become more Christ-like. 

Shortly thereafter, I felt led to personally re-invite a couple girls to join our group. Pretty soon Martha and Laurel had joined us, and the six of us formed a fantastic small group. 

We are the quieter, thoughtful types, the ones who want to fit in yet know that fitting in wasn't worth sacrificing our truest selves. We're the "good girls," the ones the grown ups love and the peers don't really get. We're the never-miss-church types, who just need space to be real every now and then. We love talking about quirky television shows, eating far too many cookies, drinking cup after cup of tea, and settling in for some heart-stirring conversation. (These descriptions are the reasons reading Graceful was the perfect choice for us.)

A few weeks ago, I decided it was time for a fun photo op. I programmed the self-timer to a 10-continuous-shots setting and let the crazy ensue. We had a blast posing, expressing, laughing, spelling "Cumberbatch" out of blocks, and shoving entire cookies in our mouths. These are just a handful of the collection. I want to cherish these Thursday Girls. 

"Expelliarmus!"

"We Heart Cumberbatch"
aka "We love the BBC show Sherlock and the lead, Benedict Cumberbatch"

Each week, I am continually honored that these girls want to come together in my living room. I have never once dreaded their arrival (Yes, I'll be honest and admit I am not the "perfect" youth leader and sometimes dread other youth events). My heart was happy when the last of the four showed up "on time" exactly at 5:30 tonight, as the other three had all arrived early. I love knowing they look forward to these times together, enough to ask if we could expand our time given no school/no piano lessons.

Thank you, Jesus, for connecting me with Kirsten, Martha, Laurel, Marella, and Olivia. I pray I am as much of a blessing to them as they are to me. 

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Early Morning #YouthMin

At 6:30 this morning, in the midst of the busy week of musical dress rehearsals, taking care of 3 kids for 11 days, and being busy with my normal responsibilities, I drove around the village picking up a van load of middle school girls to take out to breakfast. I'm Melanie, I'm crazy, I love teenagers, and I do insane things like treating them to McDonald's before school one morning. Love my life.


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The Husband of a Runner

If you've read the updated version of the blog's "About K & M" page, you will know two facts - 

a) I am a runner.

b) Kevin is not. Despite my greatest wishes. 

For as long as we've been a couple (going on nine years!), one of my biggest hopes is that Kevin would become my running partner. Typically, about once a year, I catch him on a good day and he agrees to run with me. This run normally ends after about 10 minutes - me soaring with glee, and him being frustrated that he's not in the same fitness bracket as I am. Understandable. 

I never give up asking (mostly because he's told me it doesn't hurt to ask, just don't nag). Every month or two, I say, "Will you come on a run with me today?" And he inevitably responds with, "No." If there is even the slightest hesitation on his part, I latch on with the most unreasonable amount of excitement only to be let down shortly thereafter, when he admits he was never considering it to begin with. 

Last fall he endeavored to start down the path of overall health and fitness. On his own volition we bought him a pair of minimalist New Balance shoes and my parents gifted him some UnderArmour pants for Christmas. He was faithful for a month, getting up before dawn two or three mornings a week and heading out for a mile or two all on his own. (You see, we finally figured out that he needed to work through this without my coaching or exaggerated thrill.) But then the weather changed and the runner* came to a screeching halt. 

*him not me. I have run all winter thankyouverymuch. 

And now it's time for the new session of our church's Run for God program to begin. (You may remember my stories from last year - Fairy Running and the Strawberry Race.) I talked with Kevin about the possibility of becoming the ambassador/coach/recruiter of teenagers for this program, hoping to grow the number of students involved. He jumped on board to my complete and utter amazement, saying that is the only way he'd want to participate--as a co-leader for the teens. He would be the newbie ("If I can do this you can do this") leader and I would be the veteran. 

I hadn't broached the subject with him after this initial interaction. You see, this subject is a fragile one, a tight rope walk, waiting for my own wrong move to push him off the oh-so-narrow bandwagon.

But then this happened: 

I'm going to leave my excitement unstated. You'll just have to imagine how I'm feeling about my husband running. 

The program starts this Sunday! Wish us luck!! 

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Bringing "Hostess" to a Different Level

Sometimes I feel like I'm not really an adult because 90% of my life is spent with teenagers. And quite frankly, dear friends, I love it that way. It's hard not to compare my life to other adult friends, to see how many real-live-grown-ups they have over for dinner on a regular basis. I convince myself that I'm missing the mark. After all, we don't have adults over very often - definitely not as often as a ministry couple should. 

Or should we? 

Who am I to try to rearrange the life God has called me to live? The one where I have 12 teenagers over for 2 hours every Monday afternoon, for a thing called Book Club, but where it becomes a time to laugh and love and be together. Or the one where I look forward to my Thursday nights, when a group of 5 dear high school girls cozy up on my couches, drink tea together, and share the deeper aspects of life as a godly girl. Or the spur of the moment mornings when we invite the whole slew of teens to come over for pancakes. Or how every Sunday morning, right after church, I fly out the door to unlock my house so our teen Sunday School class can pile in and enjoy learning and eating and listening in a more comfortable environment? (My house is NOT big people. It's actually quite tiny. But I've had as many 18 teens squeeze into the living room and dining room.) Oh, right! And every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons I have student after student (and sometimes their friends and a lot of times their families) filing in and out of my living room for piano lessons. And let me tell you that my job as a piano teacher is SO MUCH MORE than a job. It's a joy, a ministry. 

Am I more comfortable hosting teenagers in my home than adults? Yes. Does that mean I'm behind in my duty as pastor's wife? No. Am I strange for having honest-to-goodness inhibitions about having "grown ups" over versus teens? Perhaps. Do I need to get over that? Maybe. 

But I'm gonna go ahead and say with absolute freedom and conviction that I am proudly fulfilling the role Christ has called me to - which, for now, is ministering to teenagers. And call me crazy, but I love 'em. 

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Dare2Share 2013 | the Follow Tour

In April 2009, I co-lead my first youth group trip (ever) to Dare2Share along with Pastor Dale. We took 7 kids all the way to Chicago. 

February 2010, Kevin and I lead our second group to D2S, this time in Columbus, OH. 

And in February 2011, we took our largest group ever (21 teens and 6 adults) to the Columbus conference.

Last year was our first at a new church and we took the teens to a local snow camp that they had attended in the past. Kevin and I knew it would be a challenge to get a group on board with the idea of a teen gospel conference when none of the students could share stories from how awesome this weekend can be. But we spent the next many months talking it up, playing Greg Stier videos, telling parents about the life changing purpose of the event, and convincing 12 students that this was going to be an EPIC weekend to remember.  

back - Kirsten, Laurel, Pastor Kevin, Olivia, Logan
middle - Matilda, Alyson, McKenzie, Calandra
front - Melanie, Catherine, Riley, Elliot, Nate

I have to confess, this was the first time I have ever NOT been in a tizzy the morning (or even the week of) the big event. I never felt sick to my stomach with nerves. I didn't get stressed out. I never once cried. Kevin and I didn't even argue! 

PRAISE THE GOOD LORD. a serious miracle. 

It also has a lot to do with the fact that my husband, the official pastor, did 99.9% of the work preparing for this trip. He talked to parents, hunted down paperwork, found replacements for all 7 of the students who backed out for various reasons, bought the tickets, organized payments, talked with the pastor of the church we were staying at, orchestrated the use of two different families' vans for the weekend. I was just along for the ride drive. It was a beautiful thing. 

girls goofing off during some Saturday down time. 

I drove one van filled with 6 lovely high school girls. Our ride was generally quiet, aside from a few sing-a-longs and an outburst of giggling here or there. Kirsten (my co-pilot, a senior, and a dear girl) and I had some really awesome conversation between the two 6 hour drives. She was a great help, texting people for me, pulling up the right songs on my iPod, passing the toll booth money to make, gently pointing out when the light was "green." 

Kevin's car, on the other hand, was a loud, crazy conglomeration of 7th and 8th graders. When my 6 girls were conked out during the first 2 hours of our return drive, his kids were playing a rowdy game of "telephone" and making "snowmen" out of the Oreo's cream filling. God bless him. (I think I found a few extra gray hairs on his head this morning. *wink*)

a little "dance party" action as we waited for the final session/concert to begin

You can't fully prepare your students for the intensity of an event like this. The music is phenomenal (and LOUD), the worship is powerful and they may feel uninhibited for the first time; the skits and speakers are hysterical and engaging, yet profound and soul-stirring. These students were challenged to really KNOW the message of the gospel, the good news about salvation through Jesus Christ, and then tell their friends about what they're learning.

They spent a few hours on Saturday afternoon writing out their testimonies (see below)--the personal, undisputed story of what God has done to change their lives from what it used to be or what it could have been. And they practiced hearing one another's stories and engaging in active listening. 

Catherine, Matilda and Calandra work on their testimonies
Kirsten and Riley are in the back doing the same. 

Laurel and Aly write their testimonies 

My girl, Kirsten, and I

We were so thrilled that the students LOVED the headlining band Everfound so much. In fact, they were so pumped about the final session that they waited in lines for the doors to open AN HOUR before the doors were going to open (an HOUR before the session would start). That's a really good sign! Sure enough, they secured us 3rd row seats to the big concert and the closing session for the weekend. (Holy moly it's LOUD to sit right in front of the sub woofers. yow!)

I can't believe I caught this sweet jump on film!

Worship with Everfound was excellent. Fantastic song choices, excellent musicality 

Zane Black was everyone's favorite. He's a surfer dude with a sweet lingo, ridiculous stories, and a love for Jesus. 

Our girl Logan (third from the left) got to go up on stage along with the all of the RED shoe folk.
Greg Stier used his Red Converse to symbolize going all in for the gospel of Christ. 

For the first time in our history with Dare2Share we were smart enough to spend a SECOND night rather than trying to drive home after the final song of the night (at 9pm). Fighting traffic out of the convention center and driving many hours past my bedtime, combined with the typical snow storm was never a good thing. But praise God for wising up.

Staying Saturday night meant we could linger after the event, the students could purchase last minute tshirts and posters, wait in long lines to get the handsome dudes' (of Everfound) signatures, and then hang out back at the church for a couple hours before hitting the sack. It was WELL worth the extra night.

Matilda was literally freaking out with excitement to meet the guys of Everfound

Before heading down to join them, I got this great over-head group photo

Two of our students made life changing commitments to follow Jesus, and each one of them professed to deep encounters with Christ through worship or conviction to share their faith. And simply spending that TIME together is life changing in an of itself. What a great weekend! I am praying the Lord continues to produce fruit in their softened hearts and that Kevin and I would be faithful to water the seeds planted there. 

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Tears of Passion

Have you ever been so invested in something you've been brought to tears during part of the process? 

That's what happened to me during the teen Sunday School class I co-lead. Yes, it was embarrassing, but it managed to be simultaneously empowering. I felt freed up to be myself, to be passionate, to be so deeply invested that it showed up in the ugly cry. 

Those students were blindsided with the waterworks that transpired during a normally-predictable 45 minute class. I wasn't planning it or intending it, but when my gut began churning and my heart was pounding as my mind contemplated the spiritual complacency in the room, I couldn't hold back the gates to my tears. 

Yes, teenagers, I love you guys. I love hanging out with you and hearing about your life. But my purpose is greater, deeper and far richer than that. My heart's desire is that you would know the boundless grace of Jesus Christ and submit your will unto the One who gives unbelievably good gifts to those are obediently follow his lordship.  That may sound totally overwhelming or just plain unreasonable. But it's true. And I pray my life, my heart-on-my-sleeve kind of life, would show you a glimpse of a life lived in pursuit of Jesus. 

And that you would want the same.  

Youth Ministry - More Than Sunday Nights

Youth ministry is...

...a teen wanting to come early for piano lessons just to have more time together. 

...text invitations to a volleyball game.

...laughing up a storm about last night's dance party. 

...3 girls sipping tea in my living, sharing hearts. 

...Saturday morning pancakes, with couches full of kids. 

a few (of many) from this morning's Brunch Bunch

Youth ministry is more than youth group messages and crazy, stupid games. Youth ministry is connecting to the hearts of students by caring about their lives--their boy-crazy, home-work-stressed, sports-centric, too-quiet-to-talk-in-a-large-group, brimming-with-potential-for-greatness-lives. When students feel comfortable just walking in the front door, when your home is a sort of second residence for them, when they know they are safe with you, when you're the best person to come to about the latest frustration or stress or heartbreak. THAT is youth ministry. 

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A Week in the Life [of Youth Min]

The alarm rang, all too soon, and I forced myself to pull back the warm blankets and put my feet on the chilly  floor. This morning's 6am alarm clock was filled with purpose. I was so proud of myself for fitting in 20 minutes of yoga, shower/makeup/hair/dressed, and pancakes started by 7am. Seriously impressive for me. I am totally ready to do the mom thing, let's be honest. 

Carly was coming over for a very important reason. It was Geek Day at school (you remember, right? Homecoming Spirit Week?) and she needed her hair French braided. (Lest you deduce that French braids are somehow geeky...they're not. She was going for cute geek. There, I feel better about myself.) I was so glad she asked me if she could come to our house before school; I was really looking forward to it. 

I even made pancakes for the occasion. 

We didn't have nearly enough time together, but it was a wonderful way to start the week. And a beautiful continuation of last week's ministry rhythm. 

Monday afternoon was book club and two lovely girls talked with Kevin and I for over an hour, while enjoying the delicacy of Tostino's pizza rolls. After they left, we headed to the soccer fields for a quick tour and cheer of three different games--jv, varsity, and middle school. *whew* On our way into the school's gymnasium for a volleyball game, we stopped and talked with one of my sweet 11th grade girls and her boyfriend.

Wednesday evening, I finished up my piano teaching hours at 7pm, grabbed dinner, and headed with Kevin to LeBaron's for our second night ever of watching Survivor. I ducked out at 8:45 so I could make it over another teen girl's house for the season premier of Criminal Minds. We had talked before about being big fans of the show and it occurred to me a few weeks ago that we should make a date of watching the first new episode of season. And I'm so glad we did! It was a late evening for both of us, but it was comfortable and cozy and definitely fun. 

Thursday was filled with more piano teaching and then the time of the week that I've chosen to set aside for my high school girls. It's a pseudo-small-group. They can come, comfortable, sharing their week, laughing, growing together. I haven't pushed attendance because I wanted it to be a desired thing. It's been very small, but most wonderful. Our conversation this past week was so raw and honest and yet somehow encouraging. I like when we can all be ourselves. 

And that brings us back to today (oh, besides quizzing and youth group yesterday, and the mini trip to my house with 2 of the middle school girls to find as many "sparkly" accessories in my closet as possible to make their "Sparkle Day" of spirit week a success.)

May the Lord bless this week in ways I cannot ask or imagine. 

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A Foyer's Invitation

It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do to a space, especially if the color is something beyond the ordinary eggwhite. 

I walked into our church on Saturday night for worship practice and my jaw had spontaneously dropped open. The color was beautiful, giving off the feeling of cozy, intimate conversation, ushering you in and inviting you to stay a while. Mocha it is being called, and I am love. The furniture had been moved out or rearranged. Tables previously littered with papers and the "this and that" of church handouts had been removed. A book nook that no one ever frequented was in the process of becoming a coffee bar, complete with chalkboard paint back ground. And bistro tables, the perfect height for standing around with a cup of joe and catching up with friends, are being spread throughout the space. Our church foyer, which had previously been known for exuding any feeling but warmth, is becoming a place to gather. Rather than grabbing coats and heading to the double doors, people are going to want to stick around now, getting to know one another, sharing renewed vision and passion for Christ, laughing about the silly and sharing the burden of the painful. 

All because of leaders with a vision and push to move. And that mocha colored paint. 

I love seeing changes happening to a church building. It tells me the people inside--the church herself--are vibrant and passionate, excited about progression and wanting to stay relevant and effective. 

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Exchanging Sleep for Youth Min

People who choose to work with teenagers are a special breed.

People who claim to love their work with teenagers? Well that's just unbelievable to most.

And people who love working with teenagers and do it for FREE? Well, I'll let you draw your own conclusions. 

I am cross-my-heart-honest when I say I am one of those crazies. I love teenagers, specifically of the female  variety. My heart connects with theirs. They trust me. We laugh a lot. We act completely ridiculous and become the recipients of many a raised-eyebrow by adults who are much more cultured than I. 

But I'm ok with all of that.

Overnighters are one of the inevitable events that crops up after the teens are comfortable enough to WANT to spend the night with their friends with YOU in charge. It just screams group bonding!! and is a good time waiting to happen. 

But I've got to be honest--sleepovers are my least favorite part of youth ministry. Why? Well, mostly the lack of sleep. I function off of a full 8 hours and nothing less, and I can all but promise you there won't be 8 hours of sleep to be had when you get a bunch of teenage girls in a room with tons of snack foods, nail polish, and the ever-present girl talk. 

And yet, I chose to arrange this sleepover...yes ME. I was hoping and praying the bonding and laughing and girl talking that would go on would far outweigh the lack of sleep and the overeating. 

 

I was right. A whole gaggle of girls ages 12-17 filled the youth room and we had a wonderful time together. Only 5 of the 13 hours together were spent sleeping, but that was ok. I had time to nap for 2 hours later in the day. 

Relationships with these girls is worth the sacrifice of sleep. 

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A Lifestyle of Togetherness

I have decided--I'm better suited to host or plan things last minute. This avoids the days or weeks of planning and dreading and building up of stress. It makes the event more "life style togetherness" and not as much "this is a super special once in a lifetime opportunity." I feel we shouldn't put off being together for the sake of perfect evenings with pristine hostessing. We should just BE together. No pretenses, no expectations. 

Come, as you are, into my house, as it is, and eat my food, whatever it may be. 

I am the type to get easily worked up and stressed out of every little detail. Even a casual invitation to someone's house might bring anxiety into my heart. So I've been being intentionally spontaneous lately. I know, that doesn't make any sense--it's actually more of an oxymoron. But it's what I need to do. 

And it's been working! Sunday morning I thought, "We should have steak and mashed potatoes for lunch. Yum. Ooh. We have a gigantic sirloin strip steak that we should share with someone. Wait, though, I didn't plan ahead to invite anyone or have food ready to go! Oh, I'll just go for it."  And so, after church, I invited the LeBaron clan of 6 over for steak, hotdogs, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Everything turned out well, we enjoyed one another's company, and it was a pretty darn easy "event." Love that! 

This morning, I went to a friend's house for coffee and banana bread at 7:30am. It was a nice treat, a wonderful way to start my day. 

We should all do these little things more often--live a lifestyle of togetherness. 

The One with our Full Year Here

I just can't believe it, but it is most definitely true. Today marks our one year anniversary since moving to Western New York! With tears we said goodbye to our teens and our friends in Michigan, and with the help of those same people as well as our family we loaded a UHaul and drove 7 hours east to a part of New York State that is closer to the Midwest than it is to the city. 

All those days ago sometimes feel like a lifetime--mostly because we've been warmly embraced here, settled comfortably and intimately into our little village, connecting to more people (in and out of the church) than we can count. We've been taken care of in so many ways by our friends here, and we are eternally grateful for the love they've poured on us and that they opened their lives so willingly to us. God is so good. 

And most of the time we forget we got here because of Seminary. It's pretty awesome to see the steps God used to pull us to this place, when we thought the whole point was an MDiv. If it were up to us, we'd had lived near campus and found who knows what jobs. But God is so much cooler than that. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. 

Kevin's grad school is a very important reason we're in New York, of course. He's loving his classes, his professors, his shelves and shelves of rich literature. But our lives are centered around our church, the people, in this little town--his studies in action, really. His responsibilities go well beyond the confines of the youth room, but a passion working with teenagers is one of those things we can't seem to shake. And now, a year later, we feel confident that we're getting somewhere (somewhere good) with these students. It takes a while to build a strong foundation of a relationship, but it's worth it. 

Who would've guessed what the past 365 days would bring for me? 

playing in the high school musical's pit orchestra. 

building a strong piano studio (that has provided income, relationships, and community connections).

leading music at VBS.

traveling to Seattle with a wonderful group of Bible Quizzers. 

hosting my first studio piano recital. 

running my first race. 

blowing my personal best race time out of the water with my second race. 

developing the deepest kind of friendship with a girl named Sheryl. 

going on a family vacation with Sheryl and her siblings and their kids.

And now we look ahead, with eager expectation, knowing that God will continue to do more than we can ask or imagine. Amen.

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The One with a Female Quandary

Is it just me or is difficult to be a woman and still effectively show the love of Christ to all people? (And by "all" I mean "men.") I love to love. I am a people person (with introverted needs...but that's another story for another time). Relationships are kind of my forte--where I excel. It's a beautiful gift to have when you've been called into ministry. 

But here's the thing, I feel that I have to be on my guard around members of the opposite sex. Now, I don't really feel this way inside the church doors. Most of the men I know from any church make me feel comfortable and at ease around them. My problem is not even with "men" in general. 

The problem comes when I'm out in the public arena. Walking to the bank. Browsing the aisles at Save-a-Lot. Working outside in my yard. Going for a run. I feel vulnerable; gawked at. (Sometimes audibly, oftentimes with a look.) And this puts me ill at ease.  

How does a woman embrace her beauty, the body God has given her, with confidence and dignity, purity and modesty, without drawing uninvited attention? I like to look nice, to dress myself tastefully, fashionably. But I think (I hope) everyone who knows me could testify that I don't wear anything to purposefully draw attention. 

And yet, the attention comes; and not in an encouraging sort of way. No, unfortunately this is more the "cat call" sort of way. And it makes me very uncomfortable.

I want to be able to walk down the street, smiling at everyone I meet, greeting them with cheerful hellos, and perhaps engaging them in meaningful conversation. But I just don't feel the freedom to live that way. 

So, I ask you--

Is it our world, our culture? Is it just me, being overly cautious, overly sensitive? How should women deal with this? Is it possible to sincerely love with Christ's love, without attracting the wrong kind of attention? 

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The One with the 9 Hour Trip to Family Camp

I am so thankful that in the midst of a wonderfully hectic summer (can I get an "amen"?!), Kevin and I had the opportunity to head to Somerset Beach Campground. This camp has been our home-away-from-home for many years now (8 for me, 25+ for Kevin!). You know those places in your life that act as part of your foundation? where you can step back inside and know you belong? where memories are abundant and new joys are just waiting to be experienced? I love those spots! And SBC is definitely on that list in our lives. 

Our purpose for visiting was threefold. 

A) It was SMCFMC (long, but accurate acronym) Family Camp. We can't miss family camp!

B) Kevin was leading one of the youth "afterglows"--a fun event for all of the teens. 

C) Many of our family and friends would be there. And who doesn't need to reconnect now and again? (Facebook just doesn't cut it. thankfully.)

After a 7 (turned 9) hour drive from NY to MI in 90 (million) degree heat in our efficient (yet un-air conditioned Honda Civic, Kevin and I arrived at site 79--his parents' camp site year after year. We set up our tent with just moments to spare before darkness fell, took much-needed showers, and hit the sack. For the next three days, we enjoyed all of the time we had to catch up with Mom & Dad. (Can I just say how cool it is that the parent-child relationship grows into something so beautifully mutual as we grow older? I really love it. And yes, parents-of-teens, there's hope. :D) It's tough being 7 hours away from them now, after having years where we lived just an hour's drive away and saw them frequently. We had a lot of talking to do. :)

Both sets of Kevin's grandparents were at camp as well and they spoiled us with love (and a lunch out at Freddie's Freeze) just as they always do. My bro-in-law, Brian, is officially grown up--he has his own staff trailer on the grounds and is working full time before heading to SAU's campus in the fall. We didn't get to see him as much as usual, but that's what growing up and moving out and having a girlfriend do to you. :)

One of the mornings, we drove into Jackson where Kevin was going to do some work over a Venti Coffee at Starbucks and I was meeting up with these wonderful girls from college.

With Karina in Chicago, Britt in Colorado, me in New York, and the others spread throughout Michigan we don't get together nearly as much as we'd like. But it was a wonderful gift that everyone was willing to rearrange schedules and drive many hours to get together for just a morning. We enjoyed brunch at Panera and then visited for a while longer back at Angie's house. 

One other bonus of being at Family Camp was visiting with some of the teens we'd said goodbye to last August. It was fun hanging out and catching up on their lives. It's astounding to me to see how quickly teenagers grow up and change after just a year. Wow. Plus, we were honored to be asked by Brooke & Alisha to take their senior portraits around the campgrounds. Here are two from the collection: 

Our time at SBC was over far too quickly! But we're thankful for the time we had to reconnect with dear friends, like Sara and Debbie (not to mention meeting their beautiful baby girls), seeing the same familiar faces that grace the grounds during family camp each year, and just enjoying a change in pace for a few days.  

The One with the 10 Week Whirlwind

Wondering where I've been this summer? Me too. It's been a busy one, but I'm hoping it's going to...

....nope. Not even gonna say it. I don't want to jinx myself. ;) 

It all started in May. 

the 17th-19th, we were in Michigan for my brother-in-law's high school graduation party.  

the 24th-26th, Kevin and I headed to Sandusky for our anniversary camping/Tigers' game/Cedar Point trip. 

June 1st and 2nd, we went an hour south to the annual Bible Quizzing conference campout. 

the 9th was the Strawberry Festival weekend, including my 5k race. 

the 16th was the community Book Brigade, my dad arrived for an overnight visit, and I hosted my first ever piano studio recital. 

June 24th we had a youth group pool party, and 

June 25th-July 2nd we were out on the west coast for Bible Quiz Finals in Seattle. 

July 5th and 6th, I helped a friend put on her super huge garage sale, and on the 7th, Kevin's aunt and uncle (and family) from Indiana arrived and we shared dinner and dessert together. 

the 9th-13th, we were busy busy busy working at our church VBS from 8-12 every morning (plus squeezing in a student soccer game, 2 board meetings--Kevin, and having 7 teen girls over for an afternoon.) 

July 15th, I babysat our wonderful friends' 4 children, so the adults could take their parents out to a 50th anniversary celebration dinner. 

the 17th I started my summer session of piano lessons, and at noon we left on a 7 hour (turned 9 hour) drive to Michigan for Family Camp. 

After 9 hours in an 97 degree (or hotter) car with no air conditioning (I kept a surprisingly good attitude for most of the trip--*ahem* considering the circumstances), we set up camp at 9pm and fell into bed. We spent the next 3 days enjoying time with family and friends, recounting stories of our transition to New York, and working with the teen program. 

This morning at 7am, we piled everything back into our little Civic for another 9 hour drive home. This time, however, the weather was wonderfully pleasant, and we squeezed in a shopping/sampling/lunch stop Sam's Club on the way home. 

We've got a few more important events on the docket for the next month, but I just wanted to officially congratulate us on successfully getting through the 10 weeks of crazy/awesome/business. 

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How's your summer been? Are you busier than ever or enjoying the break in routine?

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The One with VBS Songs

Some people say I look like my mom. I think that's pretty true. But I also know I followed in my mom's footsteps in more ways than just her looks. One particular path I she led me down was children's ministry song leading. I can remember summer after summer of Vacation Bible School as my mom taught tons of kids the words and motions to those catchy theme songs. When I was 12 or 13, my friend Elizabeth and I took the lead by ourselves as VBS song leaders. 

And now, decades since my mom showed me the way, I am the music leader for this week's VBS at our church. We're doing Adventures on Promise Island and boy! has it been fun. The songs are wonderfully written--easy to learn and full of worth-while theology and concepts about God. I'm not one for choreography, but the dance moves that come along with the song-leader-position are pretty darn fun as well. The kids are having an absolute BLAST with them. 

Today, as we sang an updated version of "Standing on the Promises," the kids filled the sanctuary with so much sound as they shouted the letters P-R-O-M-I-S-E-S with no help whatsoever. I love their receptiveness and their responsiveness to my leading. Kids are so much fun to work with! (and they make you feel pretty good about doing ridiculous motions on stage.) 

I'm thankful for Maria & Malia--two of our teen girls--who have faithfully helped me co-lead the songs each morning. 

As we waited for the last groups to arrive for the closing session, I invited the kids to join me "on stage" as we sang Always With Us and they all eagerly ran up beside me! Love their enthusiasm!

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And now for a few other moments from Vacation Bible School

The little ones are focused on their craft-making

And who doesn't love game time?!

The kids thought this was hysterical--wrapping up the leaders in toilet paper after learning about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. 

And we can't forget story time--the keystone f VBS!