The One on Modesty

After sharing my convictions and experience on the subject of high school dating, my 17 year old friend from Michigan also wanted my input on MODESTY. 

Oooh, modesty is another very important topic--for middle school and high school girls, but also for women of any age.  

I Peter 3: 3-4Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 

First of all, I think it is important that we value our femininity and dress in a way that portrays ourselves as the beautiful women we are. It's not necessary that we hide the bodies God gave us or be embarrassed by our curves. However, it is important to keep ourselves holy--set apart from the world's standards. In a nutshell, I believe modesty means we should dress to look nice, not to attract attention. Check your motives every time you get put an outfit together. 

Practically speaking, this means: 

1 We should be wearing jeans that fit well but aren't too tight or form fitting. Guys' eyes are so easily distracted by our lovely legs and drawing more attention to them with skin-tight sweat pants or jeans just isn't considerate. 

2. It is good to wear tank tops under shirts that are low cut or might show a bit of stomach. As far as spaghetti strap tank tops go, I don't think they should be worn alone--without a shirt over top. Girls need to be wearing good, supportive bras, and I don't think that it's attractive or responsible to have our bra straps showing. (It's tacky in my opinion.) 

3. Some girls just have larger chests and have a difficult time keeping their cleavage covered. But I would encourage every woman to show as little cleavage as possible. This doesn't mean high-necked shirts--just being respectful of the men in our lives. Their eyes will go there--especially if we're showing off. 

4. Skirts and shorts need to be long enough that it's not awkward to sit down. There should be absolutely no fear of an accidental underwear exposure. Skirts and shorts should also avoid the tight-form-fitting look.

I have to admit, it's hard to be a confident, attractive woman in a world that emphasizes the feminine frame in all the wrong ways. As John & Staci Eldgredge put in the book Captivating, women are the crown of creation, created to be a physical representation of the beauty and alluring character of our great God. I encourage all women--teenagers, busy moms, single ladies, grandmothers, pastors' wives, and working women--to embrace their beauty and give God thanks for the way He molded them. Take the time to dress yourselves in a way that is respectful of other's eyes and honoring to the beauty you've been entrusted with. (Yes, this includes not hiding behind your clothes, either.)

And above all, seek the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. THAT kind of beauty shines through any physical appearance and is the truest form of femininity.