December 12, 2013

The Harmony-Seeking Idealist

Dear Child of Mine,

I can't wait to meet you and discover how unique your personality is, while at the same time find the shadows you share with your dad and me.

I am always intrigued by personality tests. Perhaps this shows a deeper need to know myself and become more aware of my strengths and struggles. Maybe it's because I wonder if and how I am changing over time. Or maybe I am just plain entertained by the results.

Recently, on a recommendation of a few friends, I took a personality test at The results were quite accurate, and for posterity sake I thought I would share them with you. I am hoping this will give you a bit of insight into my life, helping you understand my quirks and my priorities.

12_12_13 Mel in the Mirror
I thought a photo-in-the-mirror was apropos

Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterized by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings (an "abundance" is an understatement). They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding (Kevin calls me his "little empath"). Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character (why, thank you). 

But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism (all too true.) Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy (who me? obstinate?! never.).

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge (I was the kid reading every word on the cereal box). At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner (me to a T). When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success (at first I wrote this off, but I suppose my piano studio is considered a "professional success:" jumping from 0 to 29 students in 2 years in a brand new community). 

As partners, harmony-seeking idealists are loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to them (very important). They seldom fall in love head over heels nor do they like quick affairs. They sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show their affection although their feelings are deep and sincere. In as far as their circle of friends is concerned, their motto is: less is more! As far as new contacts are concerned, they are approachable to only a limited extent; they prefer to put their energy into just a few, close friendships (This is definitely true. I connect well with many people, but my inner circle is small). Their demands on friends and partners are very high (sorry, friends). As they do not like conflicts, they hesitate for some time before raising unsatisfactory issues and, when they do, they make every effort not to hurt anyone as a result (check, check).

CareerAs a Harmony-seeking Idealist you are one of the introverted personality types (I may be talkative and good in front of people, but I seek quiet, not crowds). Therefore you prefer a quiet work environment where you can intensively deal with your responsibilities and are not disturbed by too many people and repeated distractions (uggg, distractions...). You need a lot of time to dwell on your thoughts, to put them into words and let your ideas take shape (a lot of time).

You are grateful for a certain measure of order and structure in order to achieve this, and being able to deal with one project after the other, thus not having a number of responsibilities at one time. You don’t like being overloaded because it is important to you to deal with things thoroughly. Your capability to concentrate is unusually great and very often you become engrossed in something and forget everything around you.

You are one of the feeler types (*cough cough*). This fact is partially the reason that you have a very strong insight into human nature and enjoy dealing with people. You are interested in the people around you and have a real sense for their motivations, needs and abilities. Your talent to see the best in everybody and your keen wish to understand others and somehow contribute to their well-being predestine you to work with people. (This paragraph accurate accounts for my youth ministry passion).

Due to your propensity to be introverted you are not into holding major speeches for large audiences. Your real strength lies in working individually with people like therapists, physicians or priests (true story). In those professions, when advancing others in their personal development or to help them in any other way is the issue, you are unbeatable (unbeatable, eh? Well, thanks).

You are extremely sensitive, and your social competences are developed above average. As a result you have no problems working with people or being a team member. Still, you should watch out to primarily surround yourself with persons who are similarly profound and eclectic. During the working day you abhor thoughtless, superficial, and insensitive colleagues.

There you have it. Your Mama in a nutshell.



  1. Fun! Apparently I am Engaged Idealists are extroverted and helpful. Others find them to be very congenial and inspiring - especially as they are always willing to see the best in the other person. Their humour, their energy and their optimism attract other people.
    I found that to be pretty accurate- including the negative characteristics as well. Thanks for sharing!

    1. So glad you took it, Andrea! You sound like a lot of fun to be around :) :)


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